'Dancing with the moon' is a book by Emma Despres about her spiritual journey through IVF and the birth of her two sons; Elijah and Eben.
Yoga teacher and Reiki master, Ms Despres, thought she would conceive naturally, but as her journey to conceive evolved so did her blog about it and before she knew it she had a book.
Ms Despres said: "Don’t laugh, but I had imagined that I would conceive in a beautiful, romantic, natural and conscious way, on a bed of rose petals under a starry night. However, at 36, after a year of trying (and failing) to conceive, my fears were confirmed: we were told we may never have children. Humbled by this sobering truth, I realised I would have to throw myself into the world of science, hook, line and sinker, if there was any chance of motherhood."
The book is about her spiritual journey through IVF and how she coped with going through such a clinical journey to pregnancy against all her beliefs. It continues with birth and motherhood, all presenting their own challenges.
Ms Despres said: "It’s all in there! Essentially the message is about love not fear, it just took me a long time to recognise this!"
Having written a blog for many years it was a natural thing for Ms Despres to continue writing honestly about this new chapter in her life. She said:
"When I was pregnant I was aware that I was seeing an increasing number of ladies for Reiki and at yoga who were experiencing fertility issues, and I was often repeating my story to them. I figured that rather than continue repeating myself I should blog about it so that I could direct women there instead. These blog postings seemed to take on their own energy, and before too long I realised that I had quite a lot of material to share, and I had a sense that perhaps I could put the postings together for a book, but at that point I didn’t have a conclusion. Then my second son was born, and the manner in which this unfolded gave me the perfect conclusion. I realised soon after his birth that I had a book – I just needed to finish writing it."
Pictured: Dancing with the moon front cover
Mindful that fertility is often not talked about Ms Despres believes there is still a lot of stigma attached to IVF: "It can be an incredibly lonely, and indeed fearful and anxious, time. I am always keen to help if I can, because actually what you want to try and avoid when you’re experiencing fertility issues, is fear and anxiety, which can just compound the situation. It’s essential to try to stay positive, and this is often the tricky bit and the bit I am keen to help with through my sharing."
Ms Despres hopes the book will have a positive impact on others: "I’d also like women to feel comforted that someone has gone through it and come out the other side; not just the IVF, but also the complications during pregnancy, the difficult births and the shock of motherhood. None of this was ideal, but life is like that isn’t it and sometimes reading how others navigated the challenges can be helpful to us.
"I really hope that the book helps others experiencing fertility issues, and can maybe bring a little bit of light when everything feels very dark. That I guess, is one of my dreams – to help people through the sharing of my own experiences."
Dancing with the moon is available to purchase here
Pictured: Emma Despres holding son Eben with partner Ewan and older son Elijah
Photo credit: Steph Bisson
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