Cribs: States of Guernsey style

Friday 17 April 2020

Deputies gave us a glimpse into their lounges, kitchens, sheds, spare bedrooms and cupboards-under-the-stairs this week as States members dialled in to their first virtual States meeting from home.

While some Deputies disappointed us by either turning their webcams off or failing to connect, many showed their faces and their homes, with some taking creative license in portraying their whereabouts.

 Here are the ones we saw:

Gavin was the first to appear, but he let us down for once, as he chose to blur out his surroundings.

His current closest political partner Heidi Soulsby followed suit, which left us wondering if everyone would be using effects to conceal their homes.

And then Mark Dorey came along. Is that his bedroom or someone else’s? Judging by the calendar, it belongs to a diehard Everton fan, and I’ll confess to not knowing Mark’s sporting preferences.

On the subject of football, I’m flagging this one for foul play. Rhian Tooley’s location is the definition of remote working. On the plus side, her Wifi connection seemed better over there than it has in Guernsey these last couple of days...

Speaking of the great outdoors, Jeremy Smithies looks to be dressed in his Sunday best, all set for an afternoon with the hounds.

 Neil Inder looks like the archetypal rebellious schoolboy throwing paper planes from the back of the classroom.

 On the second day he unblurred his background, giving a glimpse of the “pottery museum” kitchen décor he showcased on twitter a day earlier.

The first thing I noticed about Rob Prow’s lounge were the light fittings. Is that another on the far wall?

I was squinting to see Mary Lowe at times due to the sunlight shining through her bedroom window.

Or is it Al Brouard’s bedroom wondow? Either the pair have near identical living quarters or they have made the surprise decision to self-isolate together.

Sarah Hansmann Rouxel appeared to be more geared up for this than some, as she seems to be sat in a study or, low and behold, an actual desk.

I have to say, that’s a nice library that Jonathan Le Tocq has there. No wonder the historical and biblical references roll so easily off his tongue. But wait…

Carl Meerveld has upped the ante. If this was poker, Carl just called Jonathan’s library and raised him a library...in a shed.

Shirt neatly pressed, top button done up, paper and books resting to the side – here's Colonel Richard Graham, reporting for duty.

It wasn’t until my feed freezed on this still that I noticed something odd about Lindsay de Sausmarez. Namely, that her right shoulder appears to have disappeared. Either it’s a digital mistake or we need to send help, although I suspect it’s the former.

Ever wonder what happened to Privet Drive after Harry Potter and the Dursleys had to move out? Well the answer to that question is that Peter Roffey moved in and filled Harry’s cupboard with shelving units.

Let’s end on David de Lisle, because of all the houses, David’s looks exactly how I expected it to look.

As for the others, we may never find out. Was Barry Paint basking in the sunshine with a coffee and a cigarette? Were the Queripels sat on the sofa with an episode of Cheers! in the background? And where was John Gollop, whose audio sounded at times like he was trapped in a tin can. Maybe we’ll find out when the States sits again next week.