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Our anonymous (and unpaid) food reviewer Harry Smiles dines out regularly so we've collated all of his 2023 reviews in one place to help you plan for 2024.
Each one of the following reviews has been published, in full in our CONNECT magazine.
The abridged versions are below, and they can all be read in full HERE.
It would be remiss of me to not mention the fantastic Dhaka décor, but decorations are always second to the grub in this critics' humble opinion....
First up was Murgi Rezala. Marinated roast chicken swimming in an aromatic coconut and turmeric sauce set the tone of what turned out to be a great meal.
The accompanying rice was light, fragrant, and beautifully cooked, and was a fine match for the tender chicken which literally fell off the bone.
Another corker was the Murgi Biryani, chicken drumsticks with a similar sauce, a health portion of rice and a rogue boiled egg.
It was really well balanced, enough spice to leave a delicious long-lasting taste in your mouth, but calm enough so you can appreciate the taste. There was nothing complicated about this dish, just as it should be.
Friendly staff, fast service, delicious food, and an authentic atmosphere to boot were a recipe for success.
Crêpe Maison has amassed a dedicated band of loyal eaters.
What came before was a high street brand serving up meagre and soulless pastry products. So, has this new establishment rejuvenated the spot into something more authentic?
Pictured: The coffee art at Crepe Maison would impress instagrammers.
Galettes are a staple here, and I went for the meatiest option available. Perfectly folded and packed full to the brim, this rustic yet refined French dish était magnifique.
Each bite was a harmonious blend of Toulouse sausage, succulent bacon , sliced mushrooms, and gooey Emmental cheese, topped with a cracked egg.
Balanced flavours, with the crispy edges and chewy centre, came together to make a satisfying experience for only a little over a tenner.
There was just enough room for a sweet treat to round out the occasion.
One word came to mind with the pistachio and raspberry tart – thick.
I’d also argue it needed to be sweeter. It certainly looked the part, though. Next time I’ll get something lighter.
Undoubtedly a welcome addition to the High Street, adding charm and cheer. The extensive menu demands further exploration.
Le Gouffre is the kind of location where you just want to stop and spend the afternoon.
It’s a welcome sight heading down the winding hill lanes to see a modern building among the sweeping forestry and shrubbery, with nothing but an ocean vista carved as a V by the cliffs for a view.
Pictured: The food was "fresh, fresh, fresh".
The natural theme carries on inside, with plenty of light pouring in from the large south facing windows, and hues of forest greens and browns permeating the decor. We sat in our seats with anticipation in our hearts and wellbeing in our minds.
Then came the food. Fresh, fresh, fresh - that's all you need to know across the board. It makes such a difference whatever meal you have, wherever you have it. The beef fajitas were certainly understated but I didn't mind that. Something light for lunch is never a negative. The Waldorf salad was equally fresh and filling. A fruity, crunchy, nutty blend was expected and delivered, but with the added tang of crumbly blue cheese. Sadly the apple didn’t make an appearance. A shame.
The preparation of a crab sandwich can quickly divide opinion in Guernsey.
I put Le Gouffre to the test with the avocado and crustacean ciabatta. Hearty bread carried the meaty smooth filling, pleasantly furthered by the avocado, but it lacked salt and the accompanying sauce was served on the side in a pot.
A caesar salad is always a gamble.
In a good salad the lettuce leaves are crisp, shredded, and mixed properly. The best have a recently halved boiled egg, the centre a rich orange, yolk mingling with the salad to create the perfect mouthful. The alternative is the salad that is forgotten about. Dropped to the bottom of the menu, rarely ordered, and pulled together for no other reason than it has to be made. This was the latter.
I've always loved the location and I'm glad the new owners are continuing the good work of their predecessors.
Overall, a tasty meal, despite some minor culinary misgivings, I could’ve easily stayed there longer with a coffee or something stronger post-lunch. Such is the pull of the chasm.
The Terrace's seasonal opening times means the chefs often rotate with the menu being refreshed to boot also. This can provide a fresh dose of thrill each year but can also be disconcerting for those who find comfort in continuity.
With that in mind I took a prime seat at the outside corner table, admired the harbour views and got down to examining the options.
Sushi? Red duck curry? Or the Kaho Gai Saab (fried chicken and chilli sauce)? In the end I plucked up some courage and dived headfirst into the Kaho Gai-Zaab with a side of deep-fried squid for good measure.
The squid was top notch.
Another dish came from the specials board. My guest enjoyed dry noodles with crispy pork and a spicy oily vinaigrette. Sounds simple and arguably plain - it was anything but.
There was very little to criticise here.
The Terrace Garden Café menu may provide some unpredicability from year to year but one thing is reliable and that is the satisfaction which appears to reign supreme.
Yet another new eatery opened its doors in St Peter Port this year.
Porto Gallo is a family business that popped up on Fountain Street promising hearty dishes from Portugal.
It gives the impression of a late-night takeaway, and there was some inertia that my blood wasn’t diluted with alcohol while taking in the aluminium surroundings and pouring over the hot counter items by the till.
There was a joyful welcome from staff, made even more so by the surprising offer of a free coffee during the wait. They insisted I should try it on the house. Free consumables make the best sauce, but the espresso stood on its own. Strong, fruity, and delicious. A big tick for service here all round.
Attention, as always, turned to the funky-looking menu.
There was a regional centerpiece, beef Espetada. I feared my eyes may have been larger than my gut when I saw the chef skewering chunk and after chunk of substantial meat onto a stick. When I eventually sat down to eat with my piping hot tray, I lifted the lid to find they had thankfully shrunk over the coals and were now browned, half submerged in a parsley, garlic, and oil bath. It smelled divine.
Pictured: Porto Gallo sells many traditional Portuguese foods.
I requested medium rare and got just what I asked for. Perfectly tender and juicy with a light background taste that didn’t outperform the meat. It did require more salt though. It came with a tub of simple salad which did help cut through the richness and resulted in a rounded main.
Overall, it was great and I'm looking forward to trying other items on their menu.
Be warned, the beef may be too heavy for a single person’s lunch!
There’s something so deliciously decadent about brunch.
It conjures up thoughts of someone who doesn’t need to get up early for breakfast to prepare them for a hard day at work. Someone who has the time to enjoy a leisurely indulgent feast at a time that’s neither here nor there in the traditional meal structure of the day.
It must be filling enough to keep you going until dinner, while being exciting enough to separate itself away from being just an ordinary breakfast or lunch. There can be no cornflakes on a brunch menu that is for sure.
Pictured: The 'Full Guernsey' breakfast came with sausages and bacon while the vegetarian version (pictured top) came with halloumi and avocado.
Our food arrived sharpish – with the larger plates being delivered first, including two vegetarian orders with halloumi and avocado replacing the bacon and sausages served to those who had chosen the more traditional versions. The mushrooms, tomatoes, hash browns and beans (in a little pot to ensure they kept their saucy selves to themselves) were all as good as expected.
The remaining orders of smoked salmon and scrambled eggs and pancakes with bacon and maple syrup, and a side of eggs (which were slightly delayed) arrived, with a basket of mixed toast...before a second basket of toast arrived with jams and marmalade.
No one really commented on the food as we tucked in...but the empty plates soon spoke for themselves!
The service was impeccable, with staff quietly swooping in to clear plates, mugs and glasses.
They’d given us a corner table to allow an element of privacy for the breastfeeding mother, and room for the buggy to be parked up out of the way of other guests. This meant we had space to really settle in, get comfortable, and enjoy ourselves.
The atmosphere is relaxed and not rushed.
It felt like you could easily take the day from brunch to afternoon tea if one were with friends who like a glass of bubbles as much as Harry does. As it was, on this occasion, our guests ranged in age from the six-week-old baby to the 89-year-old great-grandfather, so we took ourselves off home having enjoyed our brunch and coffees.
There’s no doubt that Harry will be back for brunch at Les Rocquettes again soon.
Bite Back: Les Rocquettes Hotel
Bite Back: an old favourite refurbished
Bite Back: The Rebel of the Family
Bite Back: Holy Crêpe!
Bite Back: Bangladesh comes to Guernsey
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