But much like young Kevin from Home Alone, Deputy Peter Ferbrache may wish he could make his motion of no confidence critics disappear.   

Ultimately P&R will be hoping it resembles Saint Nick rather than Tiny Tim at the end of the day, particularly after hauling most colleagues into a private meeting on Monday morning to focus minds and encourage collegiate working.    

But there’s a long list of government business that also needs to be considered afterwards due to delays and impromptu debates, such as the motion of no confidence. A yule-logjam, if you will. 

Who leads on those though – including the policy which sets the States’ objectives for the rest of the term – remains to be seen. And don’t bother looking up the chimney. 

Pictured: It could be the final week Deputy Peter Ferbrache holds the island's top political job.

Leadership questions 

So, what does the States’ Christmas menu look like this year?  

For starters is the resumption of the no confidence debate brought by Deputy Charles Parkinson which was adjourned after it ran for a whole day last month. 

This promises to be a Christmas cracker and will set the tone for the rest of the political term. 

Angelic behaviour no matter the result is hoped for by many in the community with many important domestic and international matters requiring consideration now, not just over the next 18 months. 

The debate should conclude on Wednesday with a handful of contributions needing to be made, and Deputy Parkinson to sum up which, unsurprisingly, will be less complementary about those sat at the top table. 

If it succeeds, even by just one vote, then P&R’s members will be sacked, and the States will immediately elect a new committee. Some seasoned politicians are thought to be willing to throw their (Santa) hat into the ring should this happen, but each must make their pitch for the presidential position and which willing elves they wish to bring with them. 

If the vote is tied or defeated Deputies Ferbrache, Jonathan Le Tocq and Bob Murray will keep their jobs. But as Deputies Mark Helyar and David Mahoney have already resigned from post there will need to be a smaller refresh in this event. 

P&R have been tapping up potential recruits, with it understood that one candidate has served multiple terms in the States, while the other is a first-time deputy. We won’t know who the actual candidates under the tree are until the time, however. 

Pictured: Things may be less festive in the Chamber from Wednesday to Friday.

The real main event(s) 

But there’s a long, long list of other business – both new and deferred from previous meetings due to overruns with the Funding & Investment Plan and the day long motion of no confidence opener. 

The turkey (or nut roast for those preferring plants) is not what was discussed above but the small matter called the Government Work Plan. 

It’s a list of what the priorities are until summer 2025 and what cash should be allocated to the projects, ranging from beefing up public IT systems to investing in new air routes to Paris, and continuing to market the island's financial services sector from an arms-length promotional body. 

But the headline action is investing in housing and other infrastructure, such as flood defences, at the Bridge. It also seeks to prioritise a new Housing law and a development plan for sites owned by the Guernsey Housing Association. 

The States will also have to consider three amendments looking into more public-sponsored childcare, continued funding for the sports strategy, and installing a group of wind-obsessed deputies as czars on a special renewable energy investigation committee. 

But one issue which could derail this whole debate is whether the States has new leadership. A totally new team with no ownership or stake in this document may not be prepared or willing to present and defend it to the Assembly.

So, it’s possible the policy letter is pulled, and the new team go back to the drawing board – amending or replacing parts of it to make it align with their vision for the remainder of this States.  

Employment & Social Security need to get through a series of social security benefit rates, allowances, and new regulations for the anti-discrimination law, while P&R has some technical matters relating to financial crime in anticipation of the MONEYVAL evaluation next year.  

The States needn’t bother debating changes to waste shipment legislation as that’s being pulled by Environment & Infrastructure – but only because the States took so long to get around to this time sensitive piece of work that P&R had to force it through itself before the European Union got its own overarching legislation approved.  

A good advert for proceeding with government business in a timely manner without navel-gazing or other superficial distractions, then.  

Pictured: Government work has been stacking up for months.

After a big list of legislation already approved is formally laid before the States, deputies can finally get onto other business. General update statements from committee presidents and the subsequent question times have stacked up and five need be heard at this meeting. Usually, it’s only two. 

Hearing a speech from the presidents of Home, ESS, the Development & Planning Authority, Health & Social Care, and the Overseas Aid Commission, and then questions and answers on anything and everything within their respective mandates could easily take up the best part of a day. 

There’s also a series of oral questions submitted ranging from green finance, maths results in schools, the future of Beau Sejour, pardoning Occupation police officers, the States position on the Israel-Gaza war, safeguarding and patients’ rights in healthcare, and the island’s runway. 

More appointments are necessary, with a new member sought for the States Assembly & Constitution Committee after Deputy Lester Queripel resigned. Non-executive directors also need to be approved for Guernsey Post. 

Fresh business earmarked for the December meeting itself include ratifying income tax changes agreed by the States during the recent Budget debate, more modifications to waste shipment laws to coalesce with EU-wide changes, delving into Guernsey Post’s annual accounts, and setting the date for the next general election alongside new rules on candidates’ expenditure, declarations, electioneering, and the thresholds for a recount. 

Then the Assembly will debate an appeals mechanism for their own code of conduct, as well as agreeing whether SACC should prioritise a review of absolute parliamentary privilege as part of its ongoing work programme. If sparks are to fly at the start of the meeting, they certainly could at the end here. 

Of course, there’s so much on the plate here much of this business may not be considered at all and will have to be pushed into 2024. A re-ordering of matters may occur to push the highest priority business up the order paper – so don’t read this as an order of service. 

Three appendix reports are also included which are usually ‘noted’ by the States, but there is a motion to debate one, namely the Guernsey Police Complaints Commission 2021 and 2022 annual reports.  

So, prior to our government packing up and heading out into the frosty town air for a nice Christmas break, there could be discussions on the fact complaints against local police are increasing. But just the attempt to debate the report could sour the eggnog for dismissive or exhausted deputies.

That’s if they even get there in the first place.  

Joy to the world.